Secrets of the Past
by Shadow Kat89
Summary: formerly titled Welcome to my Life. sora and riku used to be best friends but then something happened and they stopped talking. now riku's friends will stop at nothing to get them talking again while sora's friends don't think sora shouldn't talk to riku.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.

**Welcome to my Life**

**Chapter I**

**Sora's Pov**

I sighed when I walked into the classroom. I immediately spotted Kairi and Selphie. The brunette was bouncing (literally) up and down. The redhead was seated on a desk near by, waving at me. Both were wearing the girls' uniform for Miyazaki High. (Black pleated skorts that stopped mid thigh and white short sleeve sailor shirts with red bows.) My uniform consisted of black trousers and a white short sleeve shirt with a red tie. I hated it.

I stopped thinking of the uniforms and put on a false smile and waved back before walking across the room. I took the seat behind Kairi. As I sat down she turned to me.

"Hey Sora," she said cheerfully. "How was your summer?"

"It was alright," I said in a bored voice. I just didn't feel like talking.

"What's that mean?"

"You know, normal," I explained in the same tone. "Went to visit my relatives on the mainland. Nothing too exciting."

"My summer was cool. I went on a cruise ship. It was so totally awesome…" Kairi went on explaining about the cruise. I was only half listening. It wasn't that interesting.

I casually scanned the room. Not many kids I knew. There was this small group of upperclassmen directly across the room. The group consisted of three boys and two girls. They didn't look like preps or jocks but I knew they were popular. It wasn't a stereotype because I'd seen them around back in middle school.

My eyes locked onto this one boy. He was sixteen, with silver hair, aqua colored eyes, only a few inches taller than myself, with a slender body and nicely developed muscles that were apparent even with the uniform on. Riku Makoto. He lived in my neighborhood, a few blocks away from my house. We had been friends in elementary school but we had stopped talking before middle school. Now we hardly knew each other.

"And then… Sora? Sora, are you even listening to me?" Kairi's voice broke into my thoughts and brought me back to reality. I looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. Opps.

"Sora have you heard anything I've said in the last five minutes?"

Five minutes? Damn, time flies. Literally.

"Err, sorry. I was daydreaming," I admitted.

Kairi huffed angrily and turned to Selphie. They both ignored me for the next five minutes. That's when the teacher walked in.

"Hello everyone," he said. "My name is Coach Loire. If your schedule says 'First period Health', you're in the right class. If it says 'First period Math' then you'd better leave 'cause you're in the wrong class."

"Well, I guess that would be me," said one of Riku's friends. A tall boy with spiky blond hair and blue eyes. "Just kidding'." He smirked and his friends and half the class laughed. Coach Loire only smiled.

"Ha Ha, very funny Cloud," Coach said sarcastically. "Now, if you're done joking around, I'm going to take roll."

For the next thirty minutes Coach Loire told us about his rules and what we would be learning in his class. Then we played a little game to help us know our classmates better. It was called "Student Search". It was lame but I participated anyway (who knew, I might get a chance to talk to Riku).

"So, Sora," Kairi said turning to me (apparently she had forgiven me). "You traveled out of this country during vacation right?"

"Yeah. Hey Selph," I said. "You have a dog right?"

"Yeah, Sparky," Selphie said.

We continued like this for the rest of the class. At the end of the period I knew a lot more about my classmates than I had when I walked into the room. I had also gotten to talk to Riku a few times although they were short conversations and nothing about how we had been friends before. I walked out of the class feeling happier than I had been when I walked in.

"So what class do you have next?" Tidus asked when he and Wakka joined me and the girls in the hallway.

"I have Algebra," I said looking at my schedule.

"So do I!" Kairi and Selphie said at the same time.

"Great." It was sarcastic but nobody noticed.

We waved 'bye to Tidus and Wakka and headed off to our class. When we entered the room we found all the students standing against the walls. I turned to a random kid and asked if we had assigned seats.

"Dunno," he replied shrugging. "She just said don't sit down."

'_Alright then_' I nodded at him then looked around the room. Other than Kairi and Selphie I only knew to kids because they had been in my Health class. Then I noticed something. Why were there playing cards taped to the desks? '_Hmm, weird._'

The bell rang and the teacher walked in, closing the door behind her. She introduced herself as Miss Noel. Then she told us to come get a card from her and take the seat with the matching card. Those were our assigned seats.

Kairi, Selphie, and I walked forward along with the rest of the class. Kairi pulled a card from the top and Selphie pulled the one under it. They ended up next to each other. I pulled a card from the middle. Seven of Spades. '_Works for me._'

After everyone was seated, Miss Noel explained the rules of her class and did all that other 'first-day-of-school' crap. Then she said we were going to play a game until the end of the class. It was all very boring.

After Algebra I had Art. Kairi and Selphie had Art too but with a different teacher. (Finally, I was free!) I walked into the classroom and immediately stopped, causing the person behind me to run right into me.

The reason behind (or more appropriately, in front of) my sudden stop? One word: Riku. Yep, that's right. The silver haired boy sat on the far side of the room. He looked up and smiled at me, waving for me to come over.

"Hey, move," the kid behind me said.

"Oh, sorry."

"Whatever," he shoved past me muttering about 'stupid freshman'.

I blinked and started to slowly walk towards Riku. As I did, a voice in the back of my head spoke.

_Don't go over there._

'_Why not?_' I questioned.

_He's just messing with you! He doesn't want to talk to you_

'_How do you know? He might want to be friends again_.'

_Fine but don't come crying to me when you get your heart broken_

'_What's that suppose to mean?_'

_Nothing_

I reached Riku's table just then and smiled slightly.

"Hey Riku," I said nervously.

"Hey Sora. Sit down." As I did he continued talking. "I was afraid I'd be stuck in this class with no one to talk to."

"But you make friends so easily," I said slightly surprised.

"Yeah, but I want someone I already know. I don't want to have to tell a stranger all about my self just so I have someone to talk to for an hour."

"Oh." Hadn't thought about it that way.

"Besides, I've missed talking with you." There was something about the way he smiled that mesmerized me.

_He's lying._

'_But he seems so sincere._'

_He doesn't want to be your friend. He just wants to use you for his _**pleasure**.

'_I wouldn't mind that._'

Wait. Where the hell did those thoughts come from! I mentally shook my head. Luckily Riku hadn't noticed anything. (I think….)

"So what have you been up to?" he asked me.

"Nothing really. What about you?"

"Come on Sora. You act like I don't really care."

"Wha- How'd you- I mean its true. I haven't done anything interesting in the last few years."

"Sora, I know you and you're lying. I do care. Really."

Damn, am I that easy to read? No. Riku just knew me very well. He could tell if I was lying. Luckily the teacher came in at that moment. She quickly introduced herself as Miss Gainsborough (or Miss G). She had brown hair and green eyes. Then she tool roll and passed out the usual information papers. Then she passed out some drawing paper and told us to draw the first thing that came to mind in detail because she would be using these drawings to see what we would work on during the year.

I didn't know what to draw but when my pencil touched the paper I went with it. I soon realized that I was drawing a person sitting at a desk. As I added the details and began the shading, I realized who I was drawing. It was Riku, just as he was now, bent over concentrating on his drawing.

As I gazed at him, I wondered what he was drawing. It was good, that much I knew. (Why else would he appear to be working so hard?) I looked down at my drawing and added some last minute details. As I was finishing, Miss G. told us that our time was up.

"Hey that's really good."

I looked up and found Riku looking at my drawing. '_Shit_'. I hope he doesn't get freaked out. He smiled at me. Was that good or bad? I didn't want to find out.

"Uh…thanks," I managed to say. "I couldn't think of any thing else to draw so I drew you. Do you mind?"

"No, I don't."

"What did you draw?"

"This."

He turned his picture and slid it across the table so I could see it. I was surprised to see that he was an excellent artist. The picture surprised me too.

It was a picture of a tree house. Inside two children sat talking. I looked closer and realized that it was Riku and myself. I didn't know what to say.

"It's…very nice."

At that moment, Miss G. walked by. She stopped and examined our work. She was amazed at the quality of the pictures. Then the bell rang, signaling the end of the period. I gathered my stuff and almost ran out the door. I don't know why exactly but I just had to get out of there and away from Riku. Unfortunately he caught up with me.

"Hey Sora want to eat lunch with me?" he asked.

"Uh, no. I have to meet Kairi and the others. Sorry."

He looked disappointed for a second but when he smiled and spoke it didn't show.

"Don't worry about it," Riku said. "I'll see you later."

"See you."

I watched as he headed the opposite direction then I turned ant went to meet my friends.

**RIKU'S POV**

I looked up at the door just in time to see Sora walk in then suddenly stop. The kid behind him ran right in to him. I hid my laugh with a smile and waved to Sora. After a second he slowly walked towards me.

"Uh, hey Riku."

He sounded nervous. Why?

"Hey Sora. Sit down. I was afraid I'd be stuck in this class with no one to talk to."

"But you make friends so easily," he said.

That's true. So why was I so desperate to talk to **him**?

"Yeah, but I want someone I already know. I don't want to have to tell a stranger all about my self just so I have someone to talk to for an hour."

"Oh."

"Besides, I've missed talking with you."

I gave him a smile that seemed to make him melt. I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered what **I **was thinking. Why do I feel this why? What **are **these feelings? '_Why do I feel this way about you Sora?_'

"So what have you been up to?" I asked.

"Nothing really. What about you?"

"Come on Sora. You act like I don't really care," I said, slightly hurt.

"Wha- How'd you- I mean its true. I haven't done anything interesting in the last few years."

"Sora, I know you and you're lying. I do care. Really."

'_You don't trust me anymore. You think I'm just using you. And it's all because of what happened years ago. But I didn't mean to hurt you Sora._' Now I had a huge problem. How was I going to get Sora to trust me? I just wanted to be friends again but he didn't believe me.

For the next fifty minutes we were silent as we worked on the class work assigned to us. When I looked up at from my picture when Miss G. said our time was up, I found Sora adding the last details to his picture. It surprised me.

"Hey that's really good."

Sora looked up with a scared expression on his face.

"Uh…thanks. I couldn't think of any thing else to draw so I drew you. Do you mind?"

"No, I don't."

"What did you draw?"

Good question.

"This."

I pushed my picture towards him. I could tell it surprised him just as his had surprised me. I had hoped it would. It was a picture of two young children playing in a tree house. Actually it was me and Sora playing in our tree house when we were younger. It was actually a memory. I hoped it would tell him that I still thought of him as my friend.

"It's…very nice."

That's all? What did he really think of it? I never found out because Miss G. came over at that moment and collected our work. Then the bell rang and Sora practically ran out of the room. I followed and managed to catch him.

"Hey Sora want to eat lunch with me?" he asked.

"Uh, no. I have to meet Kairi and the others. Sorry."

For some reason that disappointed me but I didn't let him know that. I couldn't.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "I'll see you later."

"See you."

I turned and headed to my locker. I was so freaking confused. So confused, that when I got to my locker I didn't notice Cloud and Leon standing there. I would've walked off if they hadn't said anything.

"Hey Riku. Where're you going?"

"Huh?" I said turning to them. "Oh sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Cloud said as we headed down the hall to the cafeteria. "So what's up? You seemed kind of out of it."

"Oh this old friend of mine," I said. "We have art together and, well let's just say we haven't spoken in years."

"Like how long?"

Does Cloud always have to be so nosey? Yes, that's just his personality. And I absolutely hate it. You can't have any secrets because Cloud always finds out.

"Since about middle school, so five years, give or take."

"Why'd you two stop talking? What happened?"

"I did something that hurt him," I said shortly. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. It's not really a good memory."

I left then to stand in line at the concession stand. Cloud was irritating me. He's always so nosey but usually I can tolerate it. This time was different. I **didn't** want to talk about it. I didn't even want to **think** about it…but the memories came anyway…

The line moved forward and I shook my head to clear it. No way was I going to remember all that. Thank god it was my turn now. I quickly ordered and then went to sit with my friends. I hoped Cloud would give up questioning me.

"Hey Riku!" Yuffie called out as I walked up.

I smiled lightly before answering "Hey Yuffie" as I sat down.

"So what's up? How were your classes? Meet anyone **interesting**?"

I looked up and glared across the table at Cloud. He just smiled, feigning innocence. '_Bastard_.' I'll get him later. For now I'll play his little game.

"Maybe. So what?"

"What happened?" she asked bluntly.

"When?"

"Five years ago?"

"Why the hell is everyone so interested in my past?"

"Because you've never mentioned anything about it before," Tifa said.

She had me there but still... '_I can't believe them._'

"So that automatically gives you the right to pry?"

"Tell us and we'll stop asking."

"If you don't, well we'll just have to find this little 'friend' of yours and ask," Leon stated.

"Why do you care so much? Just drop it," I was getting angry now.

"Riku, just tell us."

"Fine. You want to know what happened? I kissed him."

AN: okay so this is my first Kingdom Hearts fic. Yes I know the whole 'Destiny Islands High School' thing is getting a little cliché because there a lot of them out there but I don't care. This is also my first attempt at a first person pov. I found it easier to write this chapter in first person because I've experienced a few of the situations in here myself. So let me know if you like it, hate it, don't know yet, or think I should just drop it before it turns out really bad. Thanks for reading and please review.

One more thing: Thank you to PiperLeoEternally for the review about _Loves Me Not._ I'm glad you thought it was cute. You were my first and only review. Thank you again.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix

AN: This chapter starts out with a flashback to when Riku and Sora where in middle school or somewhere around there. About five years before the start of this story. Then it will switch back to Riku and his friends in the cafeteria.

**WARNINGS: THIS STORY CONTAINS WORDS AND SCENES NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS WHO ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE SUCH THINGS. AFTER ALL, THE RATING IS 'M'. **

First some thank yous:

Qeuchua: I'm glad you like it. The secret will be revealed soon. : )

Alli Hearts: Thanks, I'm glad you like so far.

**Welcome to my Life**

**Chapter II**

**Riku's Pov**

"_I'll race you to the cove!" Sora yelled before he took off running._

_I grinned and shook my head before running after the brunette. I easily caught up to him as we followed the small river through the forest to the cove. I contemplated letting him win but decided against it. He wanted to race so I'd be fair about it. Unfortunately that meant I would win._

_The trees started to become sparser and the dirt was mixed with sand. Then it became sand entirely and the trees disappeared altogether. We had reached the cove but I didn't stop. I ran right into the water and stopped when it reached my knees. I heard Sora run into the water and waited until he was next to me before I spoke._

"_I win again," I announced smiling at him._

"_Yeah, Yeah. You don't have to rub it in," he said, making his cute pouting face._

"_But its fun teasing you."_

_He scowled and I laughed. He glared but that only made me laugh harder._

"_Stop laughing," he demanded. "It's not funny."_

"_Yeah…it…is…" I said between breaths._

_He made a growling noise before tackling me and sending me backwards into the water. I pulled him under with me and didn't let him up until I couldn't breathe. When he stood up he glared at me._

"_Great, now I'm soaking wet. Thanks Riku."_

"_It's your fault!" I said as he waded back to the beach. "You tackled me!"_

"_You were laughing at me!"_

'_He's got me there,' I thought as I followed him. But I was only laughing because he was so funny. I told him so but he just ignored me. When he got to the beach he plopped down on the sand. I sat down next to him._

"_Come on, Sora," I said. "Don't be mad. I was only teasing you."_

"_Fine," he said reluctantly after a minute._

"_Cool…So now what?" I asked as I turned my gaze to the sparkling turquoise sea._

"_Dunno…"_

_We sat in silence for a few minutes. I stared out at the sea but I knew Sora wasn't looking at the scenery. I could feel his gaze on me. I turned my head and found him looking at my chest, where my wet shirt (which was tight enough as it was) clung to the small muscles that I had recently acquired. He had a distant look in his eyes._

_I took the opportunity to study him. His shirt also clung to him, showing of the small amount of muscles he had. His spiky hair was still standing up in the back but his bangs where flat, clinging to his forehead. For some reason, he looked so damn irresistible. _

"_Sora…"_

"_Huh?" he blinked and looked up at me._

_I don't know what made me do it but I couldn't stop myself. I brought my head down and captured his lips beneath mine. He gasped, and our eyes widened, but I deepened the kiss and felt him respond._

_As the minutes passed, the kiss became more passionate and lustful. Our hands roamed the other's body in places we had never touched before. Only when we both moaned, did I pull away, my eyes wide in realization of what we had been doing. I scrambled to my feet and backed away frantically as Sora also stood._

"_Riku, what's wrong?" he asked._

"_What's wrong!" I repeated loudly. "I was kissing you! Doesn't that bother you! We're both guys! I shouldn't feel this way towards you! It's all so _**wrong**_!"_

"_But Riku…" he paused._

"_What Sora? What!" I yelled the last part, frustrated._

"_I…don't mind…I know other people say its wrong but…it felt so right."_

_He was right, I admitted to myself. It hadn't felt wrong at all but it scared me. What would out friends-our _**parents**_- think? I couldn't let anyone find out about this._

"_I do mind," I lied. "It's wrong. I didn't mean it. I've been out in the sun too long. That meant nothing to me and it never will. Don't ever tell anyone about what happened."_

_I saw the hurt expression on his face but it was too late. The words were out and had already done their damage. I lowered my head, turned, and walked into the forest, heading home._

_I never spoke to Sora again after that incident. I was too afraid of what would happen and I didn't want to hurt him again._

PRESENT

The table fell silent and my friends looked at me surprised and shocked. I couldn't blame them. I had always been 'straight' to my friends. This news that I had kissed my best friend, who was also a boy, was extremely shocking. Then they all started talking at once.

"What!"

"You kissed-?"

"HIM!"

"Who!"

"When!"

First all of them spoke (rather loudly too). Then Leon, then Cloud, Tifa, and Leon together, then Yuffie, then Yuffie and Tifa together. I noticed that people where staring, including Sora and his friends. '_Shit!_" I bashed my head against the table. Hard. 'Ow.' Bad idea.

"Riku!"

I looked up when my four friends yelled my name. People where still staring.

"Yes, I kissed a _guy_. I was twelve and he was eleven. I'm not telling you who and it was during the summer," I stated calmly.

"Why?" Tifa asked.

"I wasn't–and I'm still not-entirely sure why. Do you want the whole story?"

"Yeah, it might help."

So I told them what had happened down at the cove. Of course left out Sora's name. Needless to say, they made a scene again when I was finished. I just slammed my head on the table again. Hard.

**Sora's Pov**

I sighed as I sat down next to Kairi at our table in the cafeteria. I was thinking about what had happened in Art. Riku had seemed sincere about wanting to talk to me and be my friend again. There was just something that screamed 'NO!'. I think it was because of what had happened five years ago.

"What's wrong Sora?" Kairi asked.

"Riku's in my Art class."

"Oh no. What happened?"

"Nothing bad. He just wanted to be friends with me again."

"No way man," Wakka said. "After what he did, you shouldn't have talked to him, ya."

"I had no choice. He was the only person I knew and I was the only person he knew."

Kairi gave me her 'what-are-you-stupid' look.

"You could've sat next to someone else," Tidus said.

"I hate talking to new people," I mumbled.

We were silent for a while as we ate. Suddenly we heard voices being raised a few tables away, then it was silent before four voices yelled out again.

"What!"

"You kissed-?"

"HIM!"

"Who!"

"When!"

We turned and looked over at Riku's table. His four friends seemed upset about something and Riku slammed his head on the table. I heard the thud when his hit the table. The others must have heard it too because Kairi said, "Ow. That has to hurt." Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka nodded in agreement.

"Riku!"

He looked up when they called his name. His friends asked some questions and it looked like he answered them. Then the table was silent for almost fifteen minutes. I didn't need to hear the conversation to know what was being said. I knew he was telling them what had happened between us years ago.

"You jerk!"

The girls responsible for yelling the insult were Yuffie and Tifa. They had stood up and were both yelling at Riku. I have to admit, I hadn't expected that. I don't think Riku, Cloud, and Leon had either. Riku slammed his head on the table again.

"What's got them all riled up again?" Tidus asked. He got his answer soon.

"How could you do that?" Yuffie asked. "You don't just kiss someone, whether you meant to or not, and then tell them that it meant nothing to you!"

"I freaked out!" Riku yelled, standing up. "What would you have done?"

"If I had been in your place I wouldn't have kissed my friend in the first place! If I had I would've tried to explain myself, not blame it on the heat!"

"Wait, are you even the least bit freaked out by this?"

"No."

"So you don't think that it was weird?"

"Nope."

Riku stood there looking confused. Most of the cafeteria was still watching also confused. The whole place was silent, trying to hear what was being said.

"I need some time to think. I'll see you all later."

He turned and headed towards the doors that were located near our table. As he walked by he looked right at me. My friends didn't notice and I don't think Riku's did either.

**Third Person **

"I need some time to think. I'll see you all later," Riku said.

He turned and walked out of the cafeteria. Yuffie watched and saw him look at a brunette boy sitting near the door. The kid looked back and then down at the table as Riku walked out the doors. Yuffie smiled.

"Hey Yu, what's up?" Tifa asked. "You have your evil smile on. Why?"

"I think I just found out who Riku's friend was," Yuffie said.

"Who?"

"I'll tell you later. I have a plan. Come over to my house after school today."

The two girls sat down to finish their lunch. Cloud stood up.

"I'm going to go find Riku," he said.

"He wants to be left alone," Tifa stated.

"I know."

Before Tifa could say anything else, Cloud walked away.

"He can be so nosey at times," Tifa said watching the blond leave.

When Riku walked out of the cafeteria he turned left and walked around to the back of the school. As he walked, Yuffie's words ran through his head. She'd called him a jerk (Tifa had too, he reminded himself.) '_And they were right_,' he thought. '_But I freaked out what was I suppose to do_?' He kicked a rock and sent it flying so high that it hit the roof of a portable room. He just kept walking. '_What am I suppose to do_?'

'_I don't mind…_' Sora had said. Riku scowled and kicked another rock. '_It felt so right_.' Riku stopped and sighed. '_Sora was right_,' Riku thought, running a hand through his silver hair. '_It had felt right. I admitted it to myself then but I freaked out. Yuffie said she didn't think it was weird but I didn't know if my friends would've reacted the same way back then. Damn it._'

"What the hell am I suppose to do!" Riku yelled.

It was a good thing he was mostly alone. People would've looked at him like he was crazy. The only person who saw Riku yell was Cloud. The blond stood several feet behind Riku.

"Someone needs some anger management classes."

Riku turned and saw Cloud behind him. The blond had on an idiotic grin that made Riku scowl again.

"Go to Hell Cloud," Riku said. "I'm not in the mood to listen to your smart-ass comments."

"Come on Riku. What's bothering you?" Cloud asked, sincerely concerned.

"You were present during the little show. You tell me."

"Now who's being a smart-ass," Cloud grinned but it faded when Riku glared. "Look, how do you feel about your friend?"

"I don't know. I'm confused. I'm always hearing people say that homosexuality is a sin and blah blah blah. But when I kissed him he said that he didn't mind. He said it felt right."

"Did it? To you?"

"I…," Riku sighed then admitted, "Yes." He looked up at Cloud with an anxious look and spoke quietly. "It felt perfect. Like it was meant to be or something. I didn't want to pull away but I was scared. Why did it feel so right?"

Cloud was silent for a moment and watched two teens holding hands walk by. He had a distant look on his face, like he was remembering something. Riku wondered what it was that he was remembering.

"It felt right because…you're in love with him."

Without another word Cloud turned and walked away, leaving Riku wondering. 'In love…with Sora?' If Riku wasn't confused before he most definitely was now. How could he be in love with his best friend?

AN: It's a little shorter than the first chapter, sorry. My brain is kind of dead. I couldn't think of a way to finish this chapter! That's so bad! Oh well, this works as an ending and it leaves you wondering. What's Yuffie up to? What's up with Cloud? Is Riku going to accept that he's in love with Sora? All these questions and more will be answered soon. R&R please.


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